NaNoWriMo 2013: Crossroads: Four Worlds Sunday, Dec 1 2013

Below is the cover and link to my latest manuscript. This for those who are having trouble with the Publication.com ePub file.

Let me know what you think.
Crossroads_ Four Worlds

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Hiroshima in the Morning Tuesday, May 3 2011

I had a whole blog post ready for my review of this book and how it made me feel. Ultimately, I felt what I had to say was too intimate.

I finished Hiroshima in the Morning by Rahna Reiko Rizzuto last night amidst pains that were keeping me awake. Perhaps it was this insomnia that kept my otherwise judgmental mind at bay. This book is the memoir of Ms. Rizzuto’s time ten years ago in Japan after winning a fellowship to write a novel based on the Japanese Americans and survivors of the Hiroshima bombing. She is frustrated by her inability to get what she was looking for in her initial interviews with the survivors, the hibakusha.

Then the events of 9/11 that rocked Americans and the world changed everything. Suddenly, the hibakusha cannot stop talking about their memories, their experiences. She is swept away by their stories. In the process she begins to discover a new way of thinking, of viewing the world. She lets go of her Western need to label, compartmentalize, and categorize her experiences. In letting go of her need to understand through those labels, she begins to actually grasp understanding.

With understanding comes the realization that she is now changed and is unwilling to go back to who and what she was, a wife and a mother, defined only by those roles. The author has found her individuality. We see her struggle, lay blame, make excuses and ignore the crumbling of her marriage.

The narrative is interspersed with transcriptions from her interviews providing a framework for her memories. Ms. Rizzuto learns that memory is not fact but a story we tell to understand ourselves. Her story flows gently, slowly, easily. I was kept from my judgments and preconceived notions. A feat of gargantuan proportions.

I began to relate to the author’s biography until the moment she leaves her home and family and New York to travel the thousands of miles to Japan. Her identity framed by those around her, first daughter, then lover, wife, and finally mother. She moved from each stage without allowing time for her self to emerge. In this I saw our similarities and I worried. Who am I, then?

Then reality sank in. Unlike Ms. Rizzuto, I do not feel as though I have been defined by my role as wife. My husband has made no demands of me other than to be myself. We actually argue about this very topic. He fears that I would lose myself in him, and he does not wish that for me.

I am also not reluctant to become a mother. I am not one, but I hope to be one some day. If there are days when I realize what I would lose in becoming a mother, moments like this one; the television is off while my husband sleeps and I sit typing out this post. Or the ability to stay in bed all day on a Saturday reading until hunger or the need for companionship brings me downstairs. I know things will change, but ultimately, my children will be worth it.

I do not stand on the precipice, then of suddenly discovering I have no sense of self because I have delayed discovering her while I allowed others to define me. I may not have become fully actualized, but neither do I fear loss of self.

Ultimately, this book gave me a glimpse into another woman’s journey of self discovery, of change, irrevocable, destructive and renewing. It made me think and fear for my sense of self. In the end, it made me realize how important my marriage and my husband are to me and how blessed I am in having this man as my husband.

I cannot say how this book would affect another person, woman or man, and so I do not know how to end my recommendation. In the end, you need to decide for yourself if you can take this much self reflection.

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Crochet for Christmas Thursday, Dec 3 2009

So I have no pictures to post right now, but I have at least 3 or 4 almost finished crochet projects and 2 in progress. I’ve made a pair of slippers, hats (too many, don’t ask), and a purse/pouch that was supposed to be a hat but I got the gauge so wrong it was too small for a hat.

I used a pattern from Crochet World magazine. I have to say I’m not a big fan. At least the magazines were free. A friend of mine gave me a few right before she moved away. The projects tend toward the stuff that gives crochet that “Grandma’s craft” stigma, doilies, hideous afghans, silly ornaments and tree skirts. There are a few patterns, though, that actually aren’t too bad. There’s only one or two per issue, but again they were free.

The pattern I used, Jewel Tone Cloche, was supposed to work up quickly, just a few rounds and a flower. Instead it turned into a five attempt, stop by Joann Fabrics, still not quite right kind of project. The fourth edition fits me, but was still too small. I made it one last time and I think I might have a winner.

The slippers are from a pattern book, Fabulous & Flirty Crochet. There are quite a few projects I want to make from that book. However, when I bought the book, I did not think I would ever make the slippers. They were quite ugly in the colors chosen for the pattern, orange and pink. I went with brown teal as an accent. A little more sedate but then so is the recipient.

I am working on a shawl, Dragonfly Shawl from Interweave Crochet magazine. It’s in the same issue as the Big Bow Cardigan is featured on the cover. This project is proving to be a challenge. I have a cat and the pattern uses lace weight yarn. I think you see the problem already. I have to sequester myself in the spare bedroom away from the nice big screen TV and my husband which is very boring. It is also a very detail intensive pattern, so I can’t watch things with subtitles. Suffice to say, I’m stalling on doing this one! Unfortunately, I need to get it done before Christmas, so I really need to stop procrastinating!

I recently started a pattern from DROPS & Garnstudio. It’s a European yarn company with the most beautiful crochet patterns! I’m hoping I have enough yarn for the project because what I bought was on clearance. The chances of my finding more of the same dye lot are quite small! I seem to be going through quite a bit of yarn, too. I like the color of the yarn. I forget the brand but its Kelly green Solari 100% cotton. I don’t like working with it too much. It’s some type of treated or differently woven cotton. I don’t know my fibers that well.

I am nearly finished with the Queen Anne Lace blouse. I had the recipient try it on before adding the sleeves, just in case. I was so happy to discover that it fit her perfectly! Now I just have to sew in the sleeves and the buttons, and clean up the side seams. I will post pictures here when I’m done.

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Monsters Within aka Ghost Plantation or NaNoWriMo 2009 Tuesday, Dec 1 2009

I finally finished my latest opus! I know there are a few plot holes and I’m confused about whether I wrote a section or only dreamt it. Since I have not read over my own work, I have no idea if it’s any good. As far as I know, there hasn’t been anyone who has actually read any of it so far. I’m not whining, just letting anyone who does eventually read this why there may be some glaring problems with this manuscript/rough first draft.

As for the title, I finally settled on Monsters Within. Perhaps once people start reading it, someone will offer a better title.

To download the full manuscript, click on the cover image below.

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NaNoWriMo small update Tuesday, Nov 17 2009

Last night was shot for writing. I had a feeling breaking off when I did for two whole days may have been a mistake. I feel like I’ve lost some momentum. Part of the problem is how to make the discovery of Melissa’s body dramatic or tense without making it too cliche. I don’t know that I will succeed, but there it is. Here’s the rest of the last chapter from my last posting:

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Ghost Plantation: Frank is truly evil Saturday, Nov 14 2009

I know Ghost Plantation is such a cheesy title, but I can’t think of a better title yet. I am hoping the death scenes aren’t too hokey. I am happy to say that I have made it to 25k words as of last night!

Would love to hear from anyone who has read any of this.

Here’s a tease of the next couple of chapters. You can read the rest after the jump.

Melissa’s sobs shook her entire body. The three cousins had grown up together. They were like siblings. Jonathan’s horrific babbling washed over her like waves of fire. Each sob felt as if she were going to break in two. George held her helplessly not realizing the tears running down his own paling features.

Frank watched it all in detachment. He was surprised and a little excited at the way Jonathan’s words made him feel. He understood now why the fog had felt so empowering. He struggled to hide his emotions. These sensitive rich kids would, could never understand. They lacked the character, the backbone to comprehend true power. His eyes fell on Alexia’s horrified expression. Such a little treasure she was. His eyes slid past her to the sniveling girl on the ground. His lip curled in mild disgust. He never could take the sight of such a show of emotion.

A thought came to mind that had Frank turning around to hide his smile.

“I think we should get back inside as quickly as possible. There may be a wild animal loose out there. We’ll get to the hotel staff and they’ll call the authorities,” Frank said.

He knelt down by George and the still weeping Melissa.  She shied away from him immediately. Melissa did not want him anywhere near her. It was his fault Vicky had gotten separated from them. If he had just been a little nicer to her, she would… Melissa began to cry again too tired for the sobs. The pain shook her body instead. Bobby who had remained silent throughout everything stepped in and embraced Jonathan. He rocked his friend as if he were a child. He made shushing noises, repeating, “It’s ok, man, it’s ok.”

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NaNoWriMo: Day 11 Chapter 7 Thursday, Nov 12 2009

So I forgot my flash card with my WIP on it at work yesterday. I had to try and work from memory from where I thought might have left off. I actually did pretty well. I only forgot about one line that I was in the middle of when I left work yesterday. I am writing my third death scene ever. I almost forgot about last year’s NaNoWriMo novel and my first published short story. By published, I mean it was printed in my high school’s literary journal. Anyway, here is the next chapter.Click on the more link to read it.

I’d love to hear from anyone who may be reading this in full. I’ve kind of given up on having anyone read any of my novels from beginning to end. After all, they are extremely rough drafts, so I don’t blame my family for not wanting to read the stuff.

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NaNoWriMo Day 10 Tuesday, Nov 10 2009

NaNoWriMo is progressing fairly well. I am ahead of schedule at the moment by a day. My goal is to be two days ahead by Friday, so I can take the weekend off and work on some crochet projects I’ve got lined up for Christmas.

For any of you who are following this year’s story click on the more tab to read the rest of the story. Any of you interested in reading the first part click here.

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NaNoWriMo 2009! Monday, Nov 9 2009

I have been plugging away at my contribution for National Novel Writing Month since November 1, and just now I’m getting around to posting about it!

I doubt anyone is interested in actually reading this thing at this point, but I will add the text here nonetheless.

The working title is pretty lame, but it is only a place holder after all, Ghost Plantation. I haven’t come up with anything better yet, unfortunately. I’m sure something will come to me before too much longer. I am currently right on track even though I wanted to be two days ahead. Oh well, if I finish my word count for today, I will be at least one day ahead.

This year’s story is also based on a dream I had a while back. I don’t remember the dream too well only that there was a plantation and a mist and rich kids in danger. The story then that I came up with goes something like this:

Two siblings, Cameron and Alexia, rich New England types, travel to a South Carolina resort for two weeks vacation thanks their grandparents, except when they were nearly there they discovered their reservations had been moved. They are now staying at The Plantation Hotel. An old converted plantation. Their rich friends start arriving to spend the two weeks with them, Becca and Carrie, Alexia’s friends, Adrian and Frank, Cameron’s friends and Amanda, Cameron’s girlfriend. The sibs meet Susannah, the hotel owner’s daughter when they arrive. They’re trapped by a storm. There’s no concern until some of the guests start going missing in this dense unfathomable fog. Is there something out in the fog or is there a killer among the guests? I don’t know yet, maybe it’s both.

For those mildly interested click the more tab to read the first few chapters:

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Flirty 30’s Tank Top Sunday, Sep 13 2009

I finally finished the top from Interweave Crochet’s 2008 summer issue.  It took a while only because I had a problem with a big tangled mess that I posted previously.  I thought it came out quite beautifully.  I had a little trouble weaving in the ends, so I’m not sure how long it will last.  I will try to keep washings to a minimum, I think.

I love this pattern.  It was so easy to follow.  My only problem initially was that there were not pictures of the back to know where the buttons would go, but the pattern was easy enough to follow there.  Unfortunately, the pattern does not explain how to finish off completely where the ribbon is concerned, so I did not actually finish it.  The ribbon is left loose in the back.  As long as I wear my hair down, you can’t really tell.  I will post the picture of the top being worn tomorrow.

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